Saved in the Storm

by Maegan Burch

I grew up attending church religiously every Sunday morning. 
I said the prayers, attended youth, and was confirmed in the Catholic church,
but I never knew a personal, intimate relationship with God.

In high school, I was crazy about two things: boys and powerlifting.
Friends from my youth group cut me off because of my personal choices, 
so I leaned into powerlifting and found a new identity there.

As graduation approached, I listened as friends talked about the colleges they chose.
I knew that I didn’t want that. I was done with school.
I wanted to do something bigger than myself.
I wanted to do something different.
I wanted something more.

I joined the Army right out of high school. 
My heart was set on God and country. 

I realized later that my head knew who God was,
but I still lacked a true relationship with Him.
I had not submitted to him truthfully. 

I was deployed to Afghanistan as a combat medic in 2011-2012. 
The things I witnessed were beyond awful and completely life-changing.
Battered bodies, hopelessness in the middle of chaos.
And I needed to be the calm in the storm. 

While I was deployed I met my ex-husband.
I came home to El Paso and began to spiral.
We got married in 2013 while I was broken, lost, and seeking silence in alcohol.

My mind was complete chaos, a never-ending storm.
My head was on a swivel, my mind raced constantly, and I cleared every room I entered. 
I avoided loud places, checked roadside trash, and would read people everywhere I went.  

It came to a head one night. I couldn’t make it stop, and I couldn't keep going.
I was driving in the rain, hopelessly crying, and pulled into a parking lot.
Which later I realized, was a church parking lot. 

I pulled out my gun and placed it on the center console, ready to make it all stop.

I made one phone call to my mom. 
We weren’t very close at the time,
but I needed to tell her goodbye. 

After I apologized that it had come down to this,
she asked if I could pick her up from the airport the following day.

I didn’t think I had anyone. 
I thought I had pushed everyone away who cared. 
I didn’t think I deserved love, but there she was. 

I picked her up from the airport the following day, and we began working through things. 
I started therapy and began processing the trauma and pain that I carried. 

It wasn’t long until I went back to that church parking lot, this time to go to church.
I knew I needed to find my way back to God, and that church showed me Who I was looking for. 
The pastor spoke truth in a relatable way. I learned that I could know God personally.

I made the decision to follow Christ and got baptized.
My mom got to see my public declaration after seeing me walk through complete desperation. 

I started Bible study groups and felt a hunger to know Jesus more.

Then, I was starved. 
I got stationed in Germany to be with my ex husband. 
The weather was overcast, rainy, and just overall depressing.
The churches were German-speaking, and Lutheran or Catholic.
I had worked so hard to get to where I was, but slid back into isolation.

I wanted this marriage to work. I wanted a family, but it never happened. 
I tried to keep moving forward, but I fell back into unhealthy, toxic cycles. I ultimately allowed my own trauma and addictions to sabotage my marriage. 

We separated and I finished my four years of active duty.
I moved back to Beaumont and started working dead end jobs, trying to find my way. 
I knew I needed out of the medical field for some time to fully heal. 

I started attending Commonground in Bridge City,
but I was still trapped in trauma. I was still sucking the life out of my relationships. 
I was still stuck in cycles of self-sabotage. I was still trying to survive my own storm.

Then, moved to Pasadena where I worked 100+ hours a week while training for a bodybuilding show. I kept my life busy to avoid what I felt like I couldn’t change or control. 
I had to stay moving so the storm wouldn’t swallow me again.

One day, I reached a point where I couldn’t stand up straight. I ended up in the ICU with Rhabdomylitis, damaging my kidneys. My liver enzymes reflected that of a cancer patient. I had nearly worked myself to death. 

I was in the hospital for four days and received 22 liters of fluid. 
During that time, I scrolled Facebook and came across a guy, Kenny, with tons of mutual friends.
I commented on a transformation picture posted where he shared that change is possible for everyone. 

Change is possible for everyone. I feel like God changed me in that hospital room. 
I knew God would put me where I was meant to be, all in his timing. 

I was so bruised, beaten, and battered. 
I had to turn over and surrender to fully receive His grace. 

Kenny and I continued talking back and forth, and then later met at Saltgrass.
We watched the Astros go into double overtime and talked for hours.
It was so easy.

Our next date was at Riverfest. 
The rest is history.

A year later we got married, both knowing we wanted a family.
I prayed for God to give me a son that looked just like his dad.

I ended up walking through a season of discouragement and doubt,
not knowing if I was going to be able to get pregnant.
One day, I confessed to a coworker that I was really struggling.
She asked to pray over my belly, 
so I humbled myself and let her.

What I didn’t know is that God had already worked a miracle, and I was pregnant as she prayed.

God ended up giving me not one, but two boys who look just like their Daddy!

That’s what He does. 
He works in full surrender.
He gives above and beyond.

As my life is unfolding, I am seeing how full surrender always leads to God’s glory and abundant blessing.

God has moved in our marriage, our family, and even in our finances.
We started tithing exactly 10% to the penny in 2021.
Our next tax return was exactly double that amount.

Now that I am all in, I see Him everywhere. 
He isn’t just at church on Sunday mornings,
He is in my finances, friendships, and future. 
He is in the ER when I’m working on patients.
He is in my home, marriage, and relationships.

I saw everything come full circle this past April.
My husband and I took our boys back to Riverfest, where we had our first date.
I sat in that moment feeling so thankful for all the ways that God has blessed me abundantly.
He has turned my life of complete brokenness and barrenness into an absolute dream. 

I saw how God had been with me all along, pursuing me and wanting me. 
I saw how once I finally surrendered, He was able to move and work in my life. 
I saw how when I started to trust Him, He started to open up doors and give me life. 

He is all I needed. 
He saved my life.
He is all I want. 

I went from complete hopelessness to going through the motions,
to knowing God, and now I’m fully submerged.
Jesus is overflowing into every aspect of life.

I owe Him my life because He saved mine.

My story could have ended several years ago,
But God reached down and rescued me.
He saw me in my struggle and saved me.
He picked me up and gave me a new name.

God has completely saved my life, and because of that, I want everyone to know Him.

I want you to know that God loves you fully, and will meet you where you are. 
I want you to know that He has a plan for a future for you.
I want you to know that God will rescue you, just seek Him! 
I want you to know that He will turn your life around.

I want you to know that your story isn’t over