A Marriage Resurrected

by Tiffany McFatter

Did you ever dream of a fairytale life?

First, you would fall in love at first sight and dive into a picture-perfect romance.

Then, Prince Charming would ask Daddy for your hand and conjure up a magnificent proposal before the huge wedding. Finally, you'd have four kids-two boys and two girls, of course.

God has to find us funny...

Life is far from a fairytale. 

First of all, who are we to define a fairytale life? 

We make plans for our lives and do everything we can to make those plans come to pass. It’s like God is watching a sitcom that He is the director of. As His actors ad-lib and go off-script, He laughs and changes the direction of the storyline.

This is my a-little-less-fairytale and a-little-more-sitcom story:

The man I married was not one I would have ever guessed. In fact, my mom always told me that I would never marry a McFatter boy. We were pretty good friends, but I never looked at him that way. Throughout the years, we confided in each other and gave each other relationship advice, so when I called him in March 2005 to ask a simple question, fourteen years of marriage and three kids is not what I pictured to come.

But God, right?
One phone call set God’s plan into motion. 
One prayer led to God’s answer.
One decision was made to trust His plan.

So, instead of a fairytale romance and love at first sight, it all started with a call that sounded something like this: “Hey, did I just pass you? You get a new truck?” That led to a few friendly poker games to get my mind off a recent breakup, which led to us asking each other if this was a “thing.” We decided that this was in fact a “thing”…
that was April 1, 2005. 

Two years later, we were married.
There was no big proposal. He asked my Dad for permission to propose while I was laid up with an appendectomy. Romantic, right? Needless to say, our wedding did not fall into my fairytale plans either.

Since that day, we have had our ups and down like any other marriage. 
God has shown us how to live on a little and how to live on a lot. 
He has walked us through trials, provided for us, and protected us.
He has strengthened our trust and reassured us when our faith was tested. 

In 2014, we went through something every marriage says they will never go through. 

My faith and trust was truly tested. I remember waiting for my husband to get home after finding out the truth. I was furious, hurt, and confused. Why me? Why us? We were now very FAR from a fairytale. I sat on my knees in my closet, with my head pressed against the floor. I prayed to Jesus...well, questioned Him.

When I faced my husband of seven years that afternoon, I calmly asked questions and never screamed. I went to my mom’s house for three days. I prayed so hard. God put so much peace in and upon me. My heart still ached, but my mind knew what I needed to do.

After those three days, I went back home.
My flesh wanted to leave my marriage. The people surrounding me said the same.

But God. He said, “Stay.” “Forgive.” “Follow me.” 

That was the start of our resurrected marriage.

My marriage died, but three days later God made it clear that He would bring it back to life again.

It took a long time, and I mean a long time to get to the point we are at today. We had to work together to build back trust and set new boundaries. It was hard work. That’s a whole other story…but I did forgive my husband and eventually he forgave himself, too.

That season was a picture of Psalms 28:6-7:
Praise the Lord!
For he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving

Now, in 2021, our marriage still isn’t perfect. Not the news you wanted to hear, right?
It’s not perfect, but it’s better and stronger than ever.
There is joy. There is fun and laughter. 

I knew I couldn’t change my husband, but God had work to do in him. He had work to do in me, too. We both are imperfect people, just doing our best to serve God and each other.  We have made mistakes along the way. We have accepted some things about each other, and we have prayed over the things that we don’t understand.

I still don’t have the storybook fairytale that I dreamed about as a kid, but I have the sitcom that God is now directing. 

Here is what I know from wanting a fairytale, living a sitcom, and choosing forgiveness.

• His plan is always better.
  God’s plan has brought more blessing than I could have ever dreamed or planned. That McFatter boy wasn’t so bad after all.

• He brings things back to life.
  God resurrected my marriage. My marriage died, but God’s grace prevailed. His love allowed me to forgive my husband and encouraged him to forgive himself. 

• He can use all things for His good.
  I never understood why my marriage had to go through the trials and heartache that it did, but if my story gives one couple hope to keep fighting, then it worked for His good. 

I pray that my story of a marriage resurrected by God’s forgiveness, love, and grace will give you strength to keep going.
Keep seeking.
Keep praying.
Keep waiting.
Keep believing that He is the resurrection and the life.

No matter how dead your marriage, finances, friendships, or career may seem, He is the Savior who came back to life and brings all things back to life.

Like Jesus says in John 11:25, “I am the resurrection and the life…”