Living Proof

by Savannah Fritsche

Today, I am celebrating my recovery.
I am celebrating my new life.
I am celebrating God.

I was raised in the Catholic religion with a good family.
I was taught what to do and what not to do, but I never knew God.

In 2014, I was kidnapped and held against my will for four months.
During that time I was forced to use drugs and abused. 

I had never used drugs before, but this trauma sent me into a cycle that held me captive for years.
I didn’t know how to process the pain or cope, so I dealt with my feelings by going numb.
I used every chance I got and eventually got myself into a major dealing ring.

Because of drugs, I became homeless and hopped hotels.
Because of drugs, I lost my children to CPS.
Because of drugs, I lost my life.
Because of drugs, I lost hope.

In 2017, I reunited with Chris and brought him down with me. 
By 2018, we were dealing out of hotels, completely captivated.
All we had to show for ourselves were baggies of drugs and pipes. 

I reached rock bottom and wanted out.
I remember telling God, I don’t have the will to do it myself, so please just take my life.
I wanted rescuing and recovery, but the road looked long and nearly impossible. 

In my dark desperation, God became my light.

I told Chris, I know I brought you here with me, but I want out now.
I got up off the floor and threw it all away. 
Drugs flushed, pipes crushed.
I was done.

Together, Chris and I picked ourselves up and started praying.

We had walked through hell without Him, so we wanted to start walking with Him.

As we started walking out of darkness, I got pregnant. 
Gracey was our hope and our light. She is nonverbal, but love needs no words.
She saved me in more ways than I’ll ever be able to explain to her. 

I didn't need to clean up to go to God.
I needed to go to God to get clean.

As we walked towards healing, God led us to Turning Point.
We felt welcome where we were in our walk.
We felt at home.

During one service, they talked about Celebrate Recovery.
I didn’t want to go, but I’m so glad I did.
I found freedom and family.

Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered recovery program to heal hurts, habits, and hang-ups.
They serve people who battle drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, anger, and beyond. 

I went to recover from drugs, but I found that I needed healing
from codependency, anger, anxiety, and years of trauma and trust issues. 
Drugs were not my problem. They were the solution to my problems.

I no longer needed them, because I had found my solution in my Savior.

The more I learned, the more I desired God.
The closer I got to God, the more I healed.

Chris taught me how to let go of religion and seek a relationship with God as my Father.

My Father loves me so much.
He cleansed me from my sin.
He cured me from my addiction.
He is healing me from my past.

Our Father loves you so much.
He has not abandoned you.
He has not forsaken you.
He is with you.

I have had many people ask, If God is so good, why did He put you through all of these things?
God didn’t put me in those painful moments,
but He promises to pursue and rescue me.
That is exactly what He did.

He pursued me when I was lost.
He rescued me when I was desperate. 
He housed me when I was homeless.
He fed me when I was hungry.

I didn’t see Him then, but I see Him clearly now.
I see Him growing our family.
I see Him working to restore.
I see Him in my daughter.
I see Him in me. 

Each morning, I start with a prayer:
God, thank you for another day to be used by You.
Thank you for another day to love and grow with Chris.
Thank you for another day to hear Gracey’s laughter. 

Chris and I have always communicated through music,
and that is how God often communicates with me.

I am reminded that He rescued my rebel heart.
You've broken my resistance with Your love
And drowned it underneath the crimson spill
So bend this rebel heart into Your will
-Rebel Heart by Lauren Daigle

I am reminded of His never ending mercy.
If you knew me then, you'd believe me now
You turned my whole life upside down
Took the old and He made it new
That's just what the mercy of God can do
-Mercy by Elevation Worship

I am reminded of the power of His Name.
I pray for revival, for restoration of faith
I pray that the dead will come alive in Jesus name
-In Jesus Name by Katy Nichole

As I celebrate Jesus, I hope you will see that He is good.
See that He is with you and will not forsake you.
See that He will rescue and restore you.
See that He is mighty and merciful.
See that He can make you new.

I’m living proof of what He can do.