Here for Him

by Hallie Bearden

Before I was saved, I sought fulfillment from my family and the world. 

I have a good family. 
They are supportive. 
They love me. 
They care for me. 
But my family doesn’t fulfil me. 

As much as I looked to my parents and siblings to approve of me and give me worth, I remained empty.

When I wasn’t finding what I needed in my family, I turned to the world. 
I sought validation and worth from sports and achievements, from relationships and friends. 
Everything I did revolved around gaining approval, validation, and worth. 

I needed to know that I was good and worthy.
I needed to know that I had approval and attention. 

I wanted to always look my best, make the best social media posts, and have the best friends. 

Even with attention and “likes”, I was still empty. 
Everything left me empty. 

I felt useless.
I felt alone. 
I felt worthless.

I felt as if I had nowhere to go and no one to turn to.

The enemy had me where he wanted me, isolated and believing his lies. 

I remember being on the phone with a friend one night, telling her what I was feeling. 
She reassured me that “God had a plan.”
As she spoke truth into my life, I felt God move. 
I felt hope. 

After our conversation, I knew I had the answer to my emptiness. 
I knew that I had Him.
I knew that I needed Him.

I asked my mom to buy me a Bible.
That day, I began digging into His Word, learning His Truth.

It was like putting on glasses and seeing for the first time. 
My reading turned to studying.
My studying turned to seeing. 

I started seeing how I was living in the world.
I started seeing how Scripture could help me overcome.
I started seeing my sin and feeling conviction. 

In July 2020, God saved me. 

Then, in December 2020, I encountered spiritual warfare for the first time. 
I could feel the pull towards the world.
I could feel God fighting on my behalf. 
I was sinning, but felt shame. 

I knew that God was a God of grace and not shame, so I kept going. 
I kept attending church. 
I kept reading.
I kept seeking. 

In my keeping, I felt renewal. 

I watched as God walked me through the battle and into victory. 
From that moment, I knew that no matter what may come, I will see victory. 
Our God wins every battle. 
He has won the war. 

After being saved, feeling warfare, and watching God walk me through it, I wanted more. 

More came in an unexpected way in May 2020 when my family faced heartbreak. 
My mom had a miscarriage and asked me to speak at the funeral. 

As I worked on writing words to convey what we were feeling, the words were somehow pieced together perfectly.
I recognized that it was beyond anything I could have done on my own.
I thanked God for guiding me in my writing and revealing my gift. 

In one of my hardest times so far, God showed me how I could be used for His Kingdom.
He has continued to point me to my purpose. 

During this past summer, I got busy. 
I neglected reading my Bible and could feel myself growing weak spiritually. 

In July 2002, I attended Wave Conference with my church.
I doubted that God would speak to me and move because of where my walk with Him was. 

 During the second night of worship, I walked up to the front.
I felt renewal in my soul. 
I saw renewal happening all around me. 
I saw His promises in action. 

Just like God walked me through warfare, He would walk me through my weakness. 

That night God placed a desire on my heart to work in ministry. 
I have always wanted to be a lawyer, but something in my heart shifted. 

God used my hard seasons and my doubting to lead me to the life He wants me to live.
A life where I rest in His promises of rest and renewal. 
A life where I remember His goodness in all seasons.
A life where I write and speak boldly for His Kingdom.

I know that I am only a freshman in high school, but I also know how good and big our God is. 
God has changed my life and my motives. 
He has shown me that all I do, I do for Him.

Every word I speak.
Every post I make. 
Every step I take. 

Over the past year and a half, I have realized that I am here for God alone. 
I am here only to please Him.
I am not here for the world. 
I am not here for validation
I am not here to fit in.

I am here to stand out and boldly share my faith. 

So are you.

You are not too young to be saved. 
You are not too young to worship. 
You are not too young to see God’s promises.
You are not too young to walk in your calling.

God is with us.
He is renewing us. 
He is fighting for us. 
He is working for us.

So, let’s be bold and stand out for Him.