Because He is Faithful

As I look back, I’m overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness.
I can trace His goodness and grace through every season and stage.

I started scribbling our story down a few days ago.
On Sunday, our church sang Trust in God by Elevation Worship. 
I was a blubbering mess as I sang:

Perfect submission, all is at rest
I know the author of tomorrow has ordered my steps
So this is my story and this is my song
I'm praising my risen King and Savior all the day long

This is my story. This is my song.

Let me start at age 25. I was empty and desperately searching for love in all the wrong places. Never having a father left a void in me. My grandpa and uncle stepped up in huge ways for me, but my lack of a father left a gap that kept me from understanding that kind of love. I now see that I was looking for a love only found in HIm.

I remember experiencing this love for the first time. I was “Biblenerding” with my friends, Ashlyn and Danielle, one night. We met up, made coffee, and started digging in God’s Word together. As we confessed and confided in one another, Danielle hugged me and told me to imagine God’s arms wrapped around me. She led me to see Him as a place I felt loved and safe. My place of refuge.

Shortly after that night, I was baptized. With my Father’s help, I started to see myself for all that I was, not what I was not. I stepped into my identity as God’s daughter and allowed Him to love all of me-the good, bad, broken, and ugly. I remember clinging to Psalm 139 as the Lord reintroduced me to my identity.

I began to understand Psalm 139:13-16
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

I was about to see Psalm 139:3-5 over the next several years of my life:
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Fast forward about a year and I was content. I felt that I was following God and obeying His Word as I learned it. I had found a new peace in singleness and had no interest in dating…you know where this is going…

This boy came along and pursued me consistently. After a few failed date attempts, I finally gave in. The rest is history. We got married within a year and quickly God’s plan began unfolding before our eyes. I was in awe at His faithfulness.
Within six months of getting married, Chris went to Officer Candidate School in Rhode Island for 12 weeks. I clearly remember our conversation before he left. I said, “I’ll go anywhere in the continental United States, but I don't want to go overseas.” Jokes on me. 

After ten weeks of snail mail, he emailed,
“Babe, we’re going to Guam!!!” 

My response was from my southern mouth, not my spirit. I said some pretty ugly things and completely deflated my precious husband’s excitement for a move overseas. I flattened his anticipation to fear and reluctance. I see now that this was God pushing me to surrender my ways to His. Even in my disappointment, He remained faithful.

I eventually came around to the idea and we both were excited to start our new adventure together (although some pangs from the hurt of my words were still there). We arrived at the island (in the middle of a typhoon) and were greeted at the airport by some fellow officers of his gaining command with a gift bag of treats in tow. We got settled in at our hotel then realized everywhere to eat was closed. We hadn’t eaten since the day prior, so our hunger was real, but we had that gift bag from a group of wonderful spouses who knew of our pending arrival. The snacks in that bag were our modge podge dinner and breakfast the next morning and we were eternally grateful. 

We hit the ground running once the typhoon had passed and everything was back to normal. We had got a house and a car within 4 days (record time) and were ready to start making the island home! Faithful again!

Within a week, I had a group of lovely women in my neighborhood swoop me up and start loving on me! God knew I needed community! Those three women were absolutely pivotal in my transition to Navy life, marriage, and motherhood. How faithful is He!

About 2 months after the move, we found out we were expecting! Nothing in this universe could ever prepare you for the emotions you feel when you see those 2 pink lines for the first time. 

I had the easiest and most wonderful pregnancy, then it was time to meet our baby girl. Labor went smoothly, until it took a sharp turn. We watched our girl’s heart rate drop with every contraction. She was stuck. Despite my fears, we knew C-section was our best option, so we proceeded to the operating room. Once again, God was faithful. We ended up in the operating room, but somehow between my laboring room and the operating room, her heart rate started to recover and the doctors agreed that as long as she was not in distress, we could continue to try a natural delivery. Shortly after, a sweet baby girl was laid on my belly and she let out the most beautiful little cry I had ever heard. She was perfectly healthy and required no further interventions. 

I, on the other hand, had a pretty major postpartum complication where lots of people rushed into my room and started saying lots of words. I didn't know what they meant and I was more scared than I had ever been. Then a sweet familiar face walked in and I knew right then, I was going to be okay. She was a friend from church who happened to be a labor and delivery nurse- she stood at the head of my bed and told me quickly, but gently what was happening and what they were doing. He was faithful then. He would be faithful again.

I’ve never feared dying before, but after holding my brand new baby for less than an hour, all I could think was, “I have to live. I have to live for her.” Once again, God was faithful to me. 

Our next storm was the pandemic. Everyone has their own experiences and traumas, but experiencing it on an island just hit us a little differently. We were not allowed to leave our houses. We couldn’t go grocery shopping with our kids. Our spouses were working crazy long hours. Thankfully, we had a group of 4 families that became our “quarantine family”. For 18 months, they were who we saw. They were who our children got to socialize with. Those families are some of the most precious and dear friends we have ever had. Once again, God was faithful. 

In January of 2021, we were looking to buy or build a new home. We first saw an in-progress house, scaffolding still up an all on a street named Jesus Grace. We chose to keep looking, wanting to buy more than build. After hunting, we found “our perfect home” and put in an offer. It was rejected with no opportunity to counter. We were heartbroken, but kept moving forward. After several failed attempts, we went back to Jesus Grace. I knew it was where He wanted us. We put in an offer that was accepted immediately and started getting settled in. God placed us right where we needed to be, surrounded with neighbors who became family. 

I got pregnant with our second baby girl shortly after the move and she was set to come in December. My grandparents arrived in Guam the day before I had Savanna, who came two weeks early. I went to work the day after they got on the island and went back home a few days later with a baby in tow. We spent Christmas Eve of 2021 with our two baby girls and my grandparents, Just as He planned.

Fast forward a few years and we got orders to California, another overseas move, but back to the continental United States! (These movies aren’t for the weak. They require months of planning and coordinating). 

I immediately started looking for a preschool for our girls and a church to call home. All the preschools I found online were WAY out of our budget, and I was anxious about what we were going to do. With a lot of prayer I knew somehow, God would provide. He had before. He would again.

On a random Google search I found a childcare center with Christian-based curriculum within a church, and lo and behold, within our budget. I called them and spoke with the director who said they weren’t accepting applications for the new year yet, but that they would accept our girls without hesitation when registration started and would be praying for our transition. There is a waitlist for this preschool and SHE SAVED THEM A SPOT. That was Him.

We then started looking for a house and nothing was turning up on Zillow or Trulia, so we just started praying for God to reveal to us where he wanted us. Shortly after, a house popped up that was exactly what we needed and we couldn’t say no to. It was the perfect spot for Chris’s commute for work and just right down the street from the preschool! We applied and were accepted over many other applicants according to our realtor. As we gave Him room, He continued to move. 

It was getting close to the time to leave the island, and a typhoon was coming...this storm was a big one! Chris was on the ride out crew at the hospital, so I was left to prep the house while entertaining my girls with minimal toys. Most of our things were somewhere on the Pacific headed to California. 

The typhoon made landfall with 150+ mph winds and awful rain. God allowed my girls to both be asleep through the worst of it. I rode out that storm clinging to God in prayer, “Lord, protect us.” I repeated those three words through it all. I later found out that my husband almost got blown away (literally) in the middle of the storm. 

We woke to the aftermath and were very fortunate to have no damage to the home and only one small spot in the fence messed up. So incredibly faithful. Beyond what I could ever imagine or think.  

In the aftermath, there was minimal cell service, no power, and no running water, so we were conserving all we could. We had a street “typhoon party” with all the kids playing, lots of cooking on grills, and just trying to make the best out of a storm. 

But storms come in seasons. We were doing our final move out a few days later when we got a call from our daycare. They reported that our youngest, 15 months old at the time, was lethargic and couldn't stay awake.  We headed to get her and had a blowout in the rain. Storms, y’all. 

The second I saw her I knew something was wrong. We were transferred from the clinic to the hospital for admission. Meanwhile, our hotel reservation was canceled due to lack of resources and Chris had been working 24/7 at the hospital for two weeks. Through a series of events, we found somewhere to stay and our friends came to our rescue with meals. Every need we had was met before we had to ask. I saw God’s heart for us in human form. It was a physical picture of what I had been seeing all this time.

We made it through a typhoon, illness, blowout, and more. Finally, we were California bound! Chris had gone for training before we made the move, and I asked him to check out the church where our girls would go for preschool. He called after and confidently told me, “Bree, I know this is going to be our home. You are going to love it.” I took his word and was blown away when I visited. It was home. 

We got plugged in immediately. I joined a small group with three other women and we began digging into God’s Word. It felt like a full-circle moment from the night I met God as my Father. 

I can see how His Word proved to be true over and over again.
I can see Psalm 139 in action in my life:
He created me. He knows me. 
He has a plan for me. 
He goes before me. 
He follows behind me. 

He knows you too.
He knows where you have been.
He knows where you are going.
He has a plan and purpose for you.
And He will be faithful every step of the way.

I have seen the goodness of God.
I have seen the faithfulness of my Father.
And it is abundantly more than I could have ever planned.

My oldest daughter goes to AWANA Cubbies. 
They say two truths to each week:
God’s Word is true.
God never ever ever breaks a promise.

Those two truths have proven themselves to be true time and time again.