New Endings
I wrote this nearly a year ago after avoiding writing for quite some time.
I can now see how God has used writing to walk me from ending to beginning.
I can now see the the relationships, boundaries, and faith I have gained.
I can now see that what felt like failure was just the end of a season.
I haven’t written in quite some time.
I tried to tell myself that it was because life got busy and God grew quiet,
but the truth is that I was bitter.
In September 2022, I made the decision to shut The Giving Couch down as a nonprofit, following God’s lead. This ultimately meant no longer hosting events or giving financially as an organization. This also meant there would no longer be a need for a board or team.
More than that, it meant hard conversations, strained relationships, and deep disappointment.
It was less than two years ago when I heard God tell me to share others’ testimonies.
Why would He bring it to an end so quickly?
Why would He stop when we just got started?
Questions crept in my mind daily:
Did I hear Him correctly?
Is this a consequence?
Why did I give it my all?
What happens now?
The end of this dream felt a whole lot like failure.
The end of this work felt a little like rejection.
Going through the process of dissolving stung.
It tasted like loss and felt like a part of me died.
Can you relate?
Have you ever watched a chapter end abruptly?
Maybe you had a relationship end.
Maybe you were let go from a job.
Maybe you faced perceived failure.
Maybe, like me, a dream dissolved.
What did you feel? Rejection? Failure? Grief? Hopelessness? Confusion?
I sat in anger for a while.
Then, I sat with bitterness.
Finally, I found hope.
Ironically and thankfully, the motto of The Giving Couch was deeply imbedded in my mind.
Give Hope. Give Glory. Share Your Story.
This is not a story of success. It’s the reality of closed chapters, pivots, and feelings of failure.
But if it gives Him glory, I will share it.
When you’re deep in bitterness, watching a chapter close, here is some truth to trust:
Often we give up before we gain.
In order to start The Giving Couch, I had to give up time and energy. I surrendered time moments with my family, time with friends, and time to myself. I expended energy that could have been used in other areas. I gave in order to gain my dream.
And again, I will give to obey. I will give to gain peace.
I will give what I want in order to gain His will.I don’t know what all will come from giving up and walking through a hard ending, but I do know Who is directing my steps and I trust that He knows where we are going.
Let us learn from Abraham in Genesis 22.
He surrendered his son to obey his Father.
After his surrender, God provided a ram.
Give, then wait for the ram.Endings lead to beginnings.
In addition to the peace we gain and the glory God gets, endings usually birth new beginnings. In fact, those endings can be seen as the beginning.
The moment in Acts 8 when Saul lost his sight was the start of his redemption.
The moment he couldn’t see was the beginning of who he would be.Short seasons can produce lasting fruit.
Yes, The Giving Couch as a nonprofit has concluded, but the fruit that grew is worth every single meeting, late night, and tear. The short season came with much to celebrate! A few thing that flourished in this season:
-Relationships.
-Crazy Faith.
-Boundaries.
If this is you. If you are feeing the sting of an ending season,
here are some verses to hold fast to and dig in to:
Jesus declares, “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more”
Matthew 15:1-2
-He prunes in order to produce.
I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.
Revelation 22:13
-He is the Beginning and End.
He said, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!”
Job 1:21
-He gives and takes away.
He is not here; he has risen!
Luke 24:6
-What we thought was His end, was the greatest beginning.
Where His life ended, salvation began.
Where comfort ends, boldness begins.
Where control ends, surrender begins.
Where pride ends, humility begins.
Where we end, He begins.
Allow God to work in your ending and walk you to a new beginning.
As you reflect, ask yourself:
What fruit was produced in this season? What did I gain? How did I grow?
How can this ending be seen as a new beginning?
Do I trust Him to lead me through this ending?
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:19
